was having brunch at the coffee connoisseur in singapore and i came across a small booklet that was placed on every table. it's the 'all you need to know... about coffee' thingy, which includes tcc's history, coffee facts, crossword puzzles and there's this thing that caught my attention the most: the coffee personas. and below are the few coffee personas featured in the booklet which i find really hilarious:
1. the serial coffee addict (aka the 'godfather')
the godfather maintains a love-hate relationship with coffee - he loves coffee as much as money and hates to admit that he cannot go by a single day without coffee.
the godfather needs his fix more than he needs water, has a discriminating palette for the mediocre cuppa and he will snort at coffee brewed with fine grind.
how to spot the 'godfather'?
he guzzles down his coffee like an isotonic drink.
he buys coffee from tcc by the dozens.
he claims that caffeine has no effect on him even if he drinks 6 to 7 cups daily.
2. the coffee fashionista
ms coffee fashionista knows the a to z about coffee, from her collection of filters, french presses to vacuum pots. she brews coffee like she dances ballet, and views the process of brewing as an art form.
ms coffee fashionista is driven by compulsion in her pursuit of 'the perfect cup' and thinks that the right to fine coffee ranks among the 'save the earth' campaigns and 'stop extinction' movements. she will flaunt her knowledge to the apathetic waiter at the cafe taking her orders, and probe through her inch-thick glasses on where the beans are from, when the beans are roasted and how the coffee will be brewed.
how to spot the 'coffee fashionista'?
she will as to taste the coffee before buying, and will demand for only freshly roasted beans.
she frequents cafes that serve gourmet coffee like the coffee coinoisseur (tcc), and indulges in only the finest selection like the blue mountain.
3. the caffeine disorder drinker (also known as the 'cdd' syndrome)
you can spot them at almost any coffee houses and college campuses. they drink their java by the pots and cram overnight sessions of mugging with rites of coffee brewing.
they consume their coffee to conform with the age-old tradition of late night studying, and they speak of the quantity of coffee they consumed in a night to keep them awake for studying, like the war-seasoned soldiers telling their post-war stories.
how to spot the 'caffeine disorder drinker'?
they buy instant coffee by the truckloads off the shelves of super marts.
they guard and worship their treasure trove of coffee with an all-vigilant eye.
they camp at major coffee houses for their caffeine fix and go by the motto - 'give us any coffee, as long as it is black'.
4. the coffee candy cane
this group loves their coffee smoothened with candy-flavored syrup and caramel, with lots of marshmallows and rainbow-colored chocolate rice. they would ask for melted chocolate bars to be thrown in if they could have their way.
they will hang out all night for their post-dinner coffee and candied-fix in the droves and buzz off their seat to proclaim in a loud exclamation of their delightful fix!
how to spot the 'coffee candy cane'?
they love their coffee as long as it is sweet.
they speak of their knowledge on the difference between adding caramel and adding chocolate to coffee with much pride.
they fascinate at the wide variety of coffee selection a cafe like tcc serves, and will have tried everything from coffee with chocolate and raspberry, to coffee with oreo cookies and almond roca!
...so which are you? tsk tsk.